He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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