Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
