..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
