I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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