You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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