if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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