I could have mohawked her pubes.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
