On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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