sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
