Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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