So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The Olympian is in my bed
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
