in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
