Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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