Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
