i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
