i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
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Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
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So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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