your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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