i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
