why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i will never coherently bang her
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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