I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
