I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
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I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize