there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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