pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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