I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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