I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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