I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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