haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
