Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
