I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
