this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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