the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
