i already hear my dad disowning me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
