btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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