Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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