You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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