I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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