so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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