OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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