i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
