he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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