just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
