so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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