Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
PANTIES FOUND
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