ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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