I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
