i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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