My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
