C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize