I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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