I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
