I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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