Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
