Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
