I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I need a beard to bite.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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