super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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