drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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